Sunday, 11 May 2014

Mother's Day

This was my mid-morning Mother's Day view.  The sweetest little girl with her head nestled in my lap, watching her favourite movie on the tube.  One of those moments that makes motherhood look so blissful and content.

Not all motherhood moments look like this though.  Friday night, Juliette and I were experiencing an entirely different and completely non-blissful moment as we went toe to toe with a long and drawn out bedtime battle.  It culminated with me screaming at her to "STOP IT!"  Literally screaming, like a two year old, AT my two year old.  

It's not that I haven't raised my voice at her before.  That would be crazy.  I am, after all, human.  But this was more than just raising my voice - it was a flood of rage, followed by a flood of tears. Then I apologized profusely and layed in the bed crying with my daughter.  It was raw, emotionally draining and definitely not one of my finest parenting moments.  Shit got real.  I'm not sure why I was pushed to my limit that night... it was Friday, I was tired, she was stubborn.  Whatever it was, it was the darker side motherhood and the darker side of me.  That's how motherhood is sometimes.  It's hard.  It's exhausting.  And it's emotional... it's NOTHING if not emotional.   But those dark and raw moments serve just as important a role as the sweet and cuddly ones.  Not only are they are my teaching moments, but they also make the bright moments that much brighter.

I'm forever grateful to have been given the gift of being mother to my sweet Juliette.  Never had I known love could be so deep and so true until she came into my life.  And I'm forever grateful to my mom for showing me unconditional love even in our dark moments (and there were some doozies).   I'm sure Juliette and I will have plenty more dark moments in our future.  As long as we focus on the bright ones we'll be okay.  I once heard a wise woman say, "you gotta let that shit go."

Happy Mother's Day.

Tuesday, 6 May 2014


Lately it feels like Juliette's sweetness is spiking right off the charts.  One evening last week, for example,  I was in the bath with her.  (We've gotten into the habit of either Jason or me to getting in with her some days and it turns out it's kind of a perfect little bonding time.  There are no distractions - no phones or TV or dishes.  Just her, me and some bath toys.  I kind of cherish it:)  Anyhow, we were in the bath and she had just been watching this really sad animated video of Puff the Magic Dragon.  The cartoon dragon in the video was really melancholy and shed big huge tears when his buddy left him and didn't hang out with him anymore.  It really affected Juliette.  She was crying and talking about how sad Puff was, it was heartbreaking to see her feeling so sad for Puff... but it was also incredibly fascinating and, honestly, kind of cool.  She was totally empathizing and having all these big feelings for someone (something?) else's well-being.  

I tried to help ease her worries by telling her that I tought Puff probably found his mommy after the video ended and wasn't sad anymore.  But she just kept saying, "But I think Puff IS sad, mommy.  I think Puff IS sad."

She must have repeated that about 50 times.  Literally.

The next day she and my mom were in our neighbourhood bookstore and she found this really scary-looking plastic dragon.  I'm not sure if she found it and asked for it or if they had been talking about Puff that morning but the timing for finding that frightenineg looking toy was impeccable.  When I came home from work that day, Juliette showed me her new dragon, named Puff :)  He even sleeps with her some nights!  So cute.

How about you?  What kinds of funny and sweet developments have your kids been blowing your mind with lately?  I'd love to hear!

p.s.  Here's the link to the video.  Watch at your (or your toddler's) own risk.

p.p.s  She also has mastered the art of riding a tricycle :)

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Whoa! Been a while...

Well, hello there!  It's been a while, hasn't it?  I have only myself to blame.  Life got busy and blogging just seemed to slip off my radar.  Which is too bad because I really like getting into this space and letting the words spill out of me.

So, here we go again. I'll keep setting the intention and do my best to make time for a little creative energy in my life.  Too often I get caught up in life's chores...  Get to work on time.  Make supper.  Clean house.  Get here.  Get there.  Hurry, hurry, hurry.  The last seven months of working full time have been a huge adjustment in our family.  I didn't anticipate one more work-day a week having such an enormous impact on my home-life.  I often feel like I am missing my sweet Juliette's most important years.  Although I am learning a ton and the experience is proving to be extraordinarily valuable, I've learned something very important...  To achieve the life you want, you need to figure out how to make it happen.

So that's what I'm going to do.

When I was a waitress for so many years, I used to look at people with solid 9 to 5 jobs and think that was what I wanted someday.  Now I have that, because I worked hard to achieve it, and I realize it's not all it's cracked up to be.  I miss the flexibility I once had.  And I miss spending time with my child throughout the week.  A lot.  I'll never get these years back again, and I don't want to look back and wish I had done things differently.

And so, new goals are being set.  Ones that allow me to have freedom and flexibility.  To be creative.  To have fun.  To enjoy life and living. It's time to stop thinking about what I want to do and just start doing it!


Monday, 13 January 2014

Life at two, juice boxes, and other stories

Here's the low down on life with this two-and-a-bit year old:

Juice boxes are a hot commodity around here.  She was happy with apple until I recently introduced berry, now it's ALL about berry.  Oops.

Eating is touch and go, and I try to remember she'll eat when she's hungry.  And she does, she just doesn't seem hungry all that often...

Dancing.  My girl likes to dance and she likes to dance often.  Tonight we listened to the Beatles and cut a rug before bathtime:)

Toopy and Binoo.  Over and over and over and over.  She loves that little cat and mouse.  I think they're a little weird.

She's got the gift of gab.  Particularly when when Jason and I are trying to talk to each other.  She'll systematically raise her voice until she is literally screaming overtop of our conversation, and we're forced to stop and pay attention.  It's actually pretty cute, even though sometimes I just want to finish my sentence.

Lately she has been a real mama's girl.  It's been a treat, but I'm prepared for the pendulum to swing back again and am just enjoying the extra snuggles while I can.

By the end of the week, Juliette has definitely had enough "school" (daycare) and I'm feeling like my decision to take on a full time job (compared to last year's four day work-week) may be a little too much.  Hopefully I'll be able to work out something more balanced in the long run.

She loves Gaga!  She's been on a real Lady Gaga kick ever since I played her a youtube video of a live performance of Bad Romance in Montreal.  She even tries to imitate the dance moves and sing along to the chorus!  I think it's the outlandish costumes and green hair that has her smitten.  And the catchy tune, I suppose.

She likes cozy snuggles.   Getting cozy under the blankets with a story or to watch an episode of Binoo is very popuar in our home.  Juliette will often say, "Mommy, come get cozy with me."  Melts me into an itty bitty puddle every time.

She can actually play with other kids now!  Not just alongside them, but WITH them.  And her absolute favourite playmate is hands down her cousin Lila.  Cause, you know, Lila is four and like super cool.

I'm finding that two-years-and-a-bit is probably the most fun of all the 'stages' we've passed so far.   (even if it can be a little exasperating at times:)


Monday, 6 January 2014

New year, new post, new intention.

Hello 2014!

And hello readers!  It's been a while.  But I'm back.  And I've got some stuff mulling around on how I want to tackle 2014.  The first of which is removed the word "tackle" from that sentence and replace it with something like savour or enjoy...  Tackle makes it sound like an obstacle, when in reality it's a marvelous gift, isn't it?

I've been doing some thinking recently and it occurred to me that I am really terrible at living in the moment.  Like, really TERRIBLE.  It's one of those sayings that gets tossed around all the time in various places by various people, living in the moment.  But have I ever really tried to do it earnestly?  I don't think so.  I have a constant hum of what I want to achieve, where I want to be going, what I want to buy, how I want to look, how I want others to treat me, what I can get from them, when can I get it, and on and on and on.  It's exhausting and it's empty.  And it's based in self.

So here's what I'm thinking...  Be grateful for what I have.  Be grateful for right now.  Be happy.  Be kind.  Find where I can give.  Enjoy today and let tomorrow arrive in its own time.  It will come and it will bring with it a multitude of gifts and challenges over which I have no control.

I've been making a lot of plans and designs for what I would like to achieve in 2014 - what I would like to GET out of 2014.  Those plans have the power to consume me if I let them.  And I don't want to let them.  I want to enjoy my beautiful life, my beautiful family, my beautiful friends and my beautiful city (as cold as it is!).  So instead of always thinking of what's coming to me this year, I'd like to focus that energy to where I can contribute.

You know how sometimes you just feel ready to grow up a little bit more?  That's how I'm feeling.  Ready to let go of some of my childishness and selfishness, and ready to grow toward the more solid version of me that I know I'm intended to be.

I recently posed the question on my Facebook page "2014, what will you have in store for us?"  Perhaps I should have said, "2014, wait til you see what I've got coming for you!"

I'll keep you in the loop! xo

Monday, 25 November 2013

Oh hello, haircut!

Hi guys, this is Michelle.  I've had a girl crush on Michelle and her hair for a few years now.  She rocks her short little hair-do and I swoon at every papparzzi pic I see.  Then she went and did this.  She partnered with the iconic Louis Vuitton for Fall/Winter 2013/14 and completely mesmorized all short-hair-loving girls like myself with her soft yet edgy hairstyle and bold red lips.

So, I'm doing it!

My December hair appointment is next Wednedsay.  I've already started texting my stylist Hanna these pictures (even though she's the one who showed me this 'do back in September) and harassing her with my hair ideas.  (By the way, that's totally typical of me - every time I'm about a week away from my hair appointments Hanna knows because I start bombarding her with text messages, Facebook posts and pictures.  I'm not sure how she feels about it, but I can't stop myself!)

I've always loved a great short haircut on a pretty lady and have played around a lot with hairstyles and lengths over the years.  As soon as I get the itch to chop it off again, it's really hard to shake.  And I've never been a long-haired girl.  Shoulder length is about as much as I can take before it drives me bonkers.  My problem is that sometimes I see really beautiful women with beautiful long hair and I feel slightly inadequate with my short little 'do.  So then I get all self conscious and grow it again (isn't that shallow?!  It's true though).  But I always wind up here again.  Drooling over the perfect pixie and ready to take the plunge.  Change is good, right?  I think so.

Thanks for the inspiration, Michelle. You are lovely:)

Friday, 22 November 2013

What Inspires Your Senses

Smell...  A beautiful fall bouquet.  I love having fresh cut flowers in the house and fall bouquets are among my fave.  Although now it's getting to be pointsettia time:)

Hear...  Juliette was listening to us sing Happy Birthday when I took this photo.  She was listening and loving every stinkin' minute of it!  She had a lot of practice singing it over the summer - imagine her delight when it was HER turn to be sung to!

Touch...  Sand slipping through your itty bitty little fingertips.

Taste... The first snow of the year.  Cold, clean and ever so inviting to a toddler's lips.

See... a Victoria Beach sunset.  They never dissappoint.

And lucky #6!  Feel... Sun on my shoulders, feet in the sand, my baby held tight in my grip, and my heart swell with joy.

This post is linking up with t.o and fro's What Inspires Your Senses?  Jump on over to t.o.'s site to see what inspires her:)

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